Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
