Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
