we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
