You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
