you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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