I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
