you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
