I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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