Will you blow on my dice?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
