Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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