Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
