i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't deserve a penis
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
