i would punch a child for taco bell
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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