last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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