dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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