Plan B is the new Plan A
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize