So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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