Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In other news, I just burned my penis
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
where are my eyebrows?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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