I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
