Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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