if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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