Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
