So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers