Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!