The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
