We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.