he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS