And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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