She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
