You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
