I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
