Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
