I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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