The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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