I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
