my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
