this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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