Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
