we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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