we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
