So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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