I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
