VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're too hungover to prance.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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