I wanna passion pit in your ass
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
