She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
