i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
