miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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