Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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