How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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