I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
