Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
