i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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