He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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