i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
