She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My bed smells like the plague
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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