she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
COCAINE IS GR8
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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