note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
