The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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