Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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