i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
