Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Say something about gay babies.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
