just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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