mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
