Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize