I got chris browned last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize