I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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