Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
