my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
